In a wave of ignorance, famed horror novelist Stephen King inserted foot in mouth:

I don’t want to sound like an ad, a public service ad on TV, but the fact is if you can read, you can walk into a job later on. If you don’t, then you’ve got, the Army, Iraq, I don’t know, something like that. It’s, it’s not as bright. So, that’s my little commercial for that.

[video]

Sorry, Stephen. Joining the Army and going to Iraq isn’t necessarily the fate of retarded monkeys. This holder of a B.A. English and Iraq veteran proves otherwise. That’s my public service ad to you.

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