The Democratic primaries are still drudging on. Dear Lord, they’re still marching forward like some contemporary death march.

And now we’re turning our attention to a U.S. territory that most Americans can’t even point to on a map. Are the Democrats really so desperate as to cling to a small island with a population smaller than a suburb of any American city?

Today Obama and Clinton will cat fight for the nine delegate votes Guam has to offer. (Thirteen total delegates; eight only count as half votes, five are full votes.) In the scope of Presidential elections, this is about as big as a thimble in a beer keg.

Clinton brags that she’s actually “visited” Guam once (a layover in 1995 en route to China as the First lady). Obama brags that he was born geographically closer to Guam (in Hawaii) than Clinton (Illinois). Neither of these reasons should make any difference to the Guamanian voters. And quite frankly, it doesn’t make much difference to mainlanders who have become so exhausted by the Democratic battle, we’ve succumbed to actually reading the dribble coming out of McCain’s mouth as a form of refreshing entertainment.

I guess the bottom line here is something that most media outlets aren’t willing to say: Guam really doesn’t matter. Eight delegates will have little impact in comparison to the vast number of delegates that have already dropped their votes in the pot. Neither will it matter anymore to the weary voters who have turned sour with the pre-game warm-up that is the Clinton/Obama cage match. Either way, Guam has her spotlight for the next 24 hours and with that, we gratefully creep closer to an end.

Update 10:55pm CST:

CNN reporting Guam results. Obama wins by 7 votes. SEVEN!! This means Obama and Clinton will both get two delegates. The primary is still a dead heat and we’re still pounding our heads against the wall. Incredible.

The finale in Guam proves one thing: it never really mattered to begin with.

(CNN) — Barack Obama has won the Guam Democratic caucuses by a margin of 7 votes. Obama and Hillary Clinton will split the U.S. territory’s four pledged delegate votes evenly, with two apiece.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Did it surprise anyone that Clinton took Pennsylvania? I’m willing to wager that the Obama camp wasn’t shocked she won the popular vote in that state either. The fact that the Obama camp hasn’t gotten it’s feathers ruffled by the defeat is what’s particularly bothersome.

Most of us knew Clinton would take Pennsylvania. Sometimes demographics don’t lie. She had a lock on the state’s voters long before the ballets were cast; older, white, and female. It was just a matter of determining the margin of victory.

What’s got me irked then?

Money.

Flush with cash, Obama reported spending $11.2 million on television in the state, more than any place else. That compared with $4.8 million for Clinton.

Wow. Obama sure spent a lot of cash on a state that was destined to sway towards Clinton. Not to mention, before the Penn. primary, it was statistically unlikely Clinton will win enough delegates to receive the Democratic nomination.

And from what I can determine, the vast amount of spending Obama put into this states primary could only mean one thing:

Obama has long since past the point of his race with Clinton as being just business. Now, it’s personal. It’s so personal that he’s willing to spend nearly 25% of his on hand cash on a state that was favoring Clinton from day one.

Now, who was saying something about Obama and Clinton becoming running mates? They better be put up in two White Houses then.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Plain and simple, Michael Moore is standing by Obama. On his website, he posted a letter explaining why:

I haven’t spoken publicly ’til now as to who I would vote for, primarily for two reasons: 1) Who cares?; and 2) I (and most people I know) don’t give a rat’s ass whose name is on the ballot in November, as long as there’s a picture of JFK and FDR riding a donkey at the top of the ballot, and the word “Democratic” next to the candidate’s name.

Seriously, I know so many people who don’t care if the name under the Big “D” is Dancer, Prancer, Clinton or Blitzen. It can be Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Barry Obama or the Dalai Lama.

Right, so in general, many of us are just looking for anyone but a Republican in office next year.

But why Obama, Mr. Moore?

…over the past two months, the actions and words of Hillary Clinton have gone from being merely disappointing to downright disgusting. I guess the debate last week was the final straw. I’ve watched Senator Clinton and her husband play this game of appealing to the worst side of white people, but last Wednesday, when she hurled the name “Farrakhan” out of nowhere, well that’s when the silly season came to an early end for me. She said the “F” word to scare white people, pure and simple. Of course, Obama has no connection to Farrakhan. But, according to Senator Clinton, Obama’s pastor does — AND the “church bulletin” once included a Los Angeles Times op-ed from some guy with Hamas! No, not the church bulletin!

So… Clinton’s pulling out some dirty cards that show her as the evil hag she is… and?

There are those who say Obama isn’t ready, or he’s voted wrong on this or that. But that’s looking at the trees and not the forest. What we are witnessing is not just a candidate but a profound, massive public movement for change. My endorsement is more for Obama The Movement than it is for Obama the candidate.

Moore is identifying the momentum that’s swelling around Obama… a momentum that’s unifying a country… not polarizing. Apparently, a vote4 for Obama is a vote for something larger than one person. Recognizing the unification surrounding Obama is the most important point of his letter and why we should care.

Take a peak at the complete letter here.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Please excuse my failure to disguise disgust towards this guy….

At a VFW in Kansas City, Missouri, McCain called our countries care of it’s veterans a disgrace. That’s certainly true. Who would argue otherwise?

He went on to say that if he’s elected, McCain will do everything within his power to ensure that veterans receive “the highest quality health, mental health and rehabilitative care in the world.”

Excuse me, Sen. McCain. May I remind you for a moment that you:

• Voted AGAINST an amendment providing $20 billion to the VA’s medical facilities. [5/4/06]
• Voted AGAINST providing $430 million to the VA for outpatient care “and treatment for veterans,” one of only 13 senators to do so. [4/26/06]
• Voted AGAINST increasing VA funding by $1.5 billion by closing corporate loopholes. [3/14/06]
• Voted AGAINST increasing VA funding by $1.8 billion by ending “abusive tax loopholes.” [3/10/04]
• Voted AGAINST a $650 million increase in veterans’ medical care funding. [8/1/01]

If he didn’t vote for the care of our nation’s veterans in the past, why would he endorse it as the President?

Food for thought.

Popularity: 3% [?]

I’ve been grumpy over the stale mate between Obama and Clinton lately.  It’s really not all that exciting anymore.  I’m feeling a little run down by the constant name calling between the candidates (and the voters).  It’s just getting so… I dunno… blah. 

We just want a Democratic candidate!!

They say that technically, Clinton has no chance of winning.  Obama will statistically have more deletage votes. 

Newsweek broke it down for us a few weeks ago:

…no matter how you cut it, Obama will almost certainly end the primaries with a pledged-delegate lead, courtesy of all those landslides in February. Hillary would then have to convince the uncommitted superdelegates to reverse the will of the people.

Even coming off a big Hillary winning streak, few if any superdelegates will be inclined to do so. For politicians to upend what the voters have decided might be a tad, well, suicidal.

So what good can come out of such a futile battle? Why should we be happy to bear witness to the bad blood developing between Obama and Clinton?

VOTER REGISTRATION.

Get this. 

Democratic voters and registrations are at an all time high.  The Democratic party is spanking the Republicans in voter turnouts and registrants.  For example, in Pennsylvania Democrats have topped 4 million registered voters, the first time either party in the state has crossed that threshold.  That’s a four percent increase.

The Republicans, on the other hand, lost nearly one percent to 3.2 million. 

What this means is that no matter who wins the Democratic nomination, the voters will be out en mass in November.

Look out McCain.  Here we come.

Popularity: 3% [?]