An interesting short but I think something gets lost in translation for me:

[video] The Slap: Directed by Ehsan Amani (Iran)

Popularity: 3% [?]

….if you even want to call it a satellite.

As noted a few days ago, Iran reported it had successfully launched its first domestically made satellite.  Apparently, they were using the term satellite loosely and, in fact, it was more like launching a massive paper weight into the sky.

Now U.S. officials report that the word “successful” is being used just as loosely:

Iran’s attempt to launch a dummy satellite into orbit earlier this week was a “dramatic failure” that fell far short of the country’s assertions of success, Reuters quoted a US official as saying on Tuesday.

“The attempted launch failed,” the official said. “The vehicle failed shortly after liftoff and in no way reached its intended position. It could be characterized as a dramatic failure.“

It isn’t just a failure, it’s a dramatic failure!

Kinda like this guy?

Popularity: 4% [?]

The Tehran Times announced that Iran successfully launched its first domestically produced satellite into orbit yesterday.   Initially, the Iranians forgot to mention one small, little, tiny detail….  it’s a DUMMY satellite:

Iran corrected earlier reports it made Sunday and said that it had launched a dummy satellite into orbit.

At first, Iran’s IRNA news agency reported that the Iranian-made communications satellite Omeid was launched but a later report said the satellite was a dummy.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad read the countdown to the launch on Iranian TV.

The urgency of the story just went from Iran successfully launching a spy satellite into space to Iran successfully launching a big rock.

Way to go.

Israeli expert Iftah Shrir’s analysis of the situation:

Iftah Shrir, who heads the Military Balance project at the Institute for National Security Studies (INSS) claims Iran is still far from its goal of launching a real communications satellite into space. “This was a step towards the launching of an Iranian military satellite, but the road is still long,” he said.

“Prestige-wise a two-kilogram satellite waving an Iranian flag in space would be enough, but capability-wise, even if the satellite is launched, it will be a tiny research satellite without any real ability.” He added that Iran launched a Russian satellite into space in 2005, but it disappeared without a trace.

That’s one small step for Iran, one giant leap for paper weights.

Popularity: 3% [?]

That’s a relief!  Hey guys….  we can go home now!

Iraqi troops have taken over the checkpoints guarded by Georgian soldiers who pulled out of Iraq to rush home for the conflict with Russia, the US military said on Friday.

The US military transported the 2,000-strong Georgian contingent back home because of the conflict with Russia over the separatist region of South Ossetia which erupted last week.

The Georgians — until their departure the biggest foreign contingent in Iraq after the United States and Britain — were mainly deployed in Iraq’s southern Wasit province, manning checkpoints near the border with Iran.

‘Right now, the Iraqi soldiers have taken over the responsibility of the traffic control point,’ 2nd Lieutenant Charlie Hines, US military liaison with Iraqi forces at the base in the area, said in a report released by the military.

‘We are going to train them to be able to take over the entire patrol base, go and do presence patrols and set up temporary traffic control points in our area.’

Georgia had a small force in Iraq since the invasion in 2003, but expanded it significantly last year as part of an effort to support its bid for NATO membership. Five Georgian soldiers died in Iraq, all in the last two years.

I’m not quite sure who we should trust more at the Iranian border: Georgia or Iraq?

Popularity: 4% [?]

“We’re friends with Israelis! No we’re not! We are! No….! ”

Boys, boys. Please. There’s enough maniacal inbred fighting for everyone.

Iran’s vice president [Esfandiar Rahim Mashai] has said the Iranians are friends of all people in the world - even Israelis, Tehran state media reported on Monday.

It’s a rare comment from a government official in Iran, whose president regularly calls for Israel’s destruction.

….and from the Arabic new source Asharq Alawsat:

Iranian parliament speaker Ali Larijani said on Monday Iran is no friends of the Israelis, reacting to remarks to the contrary by an aide of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Fars news agency reported.

“We are not friends with the Israeli people and Iran has a logic which is what the (supreme) leader (Ayatollah Ali Khamenei) has said,” Larijani was quoted as saying.

Interestingly, the Iranian VP Mashai is in charge of Iranian tourism and his recent positive sentiments towards Israel may actually have more to do with bringing in foreign tourist money rather than sincerity.

"The Land of Civilization and Friendship"

I mean, c’mon! The Iranian tourism slogan is “The Land of Civilization and Friendship” for goodness sake!

On second thought, perhaps we’re not translating the meaning of “Iranian friendship” properly. This and this and this should clear things up.

Popularity: 2% [?]

The International Olympic Committee was poised to take sanctions against Iran for withdrawing from the 100-meter breaststroke because of an Israeli competitor six lanes away.

But instead of Iran admitting that the shun was rooted in antisemitism, they give another reason for the swimmer bailing:

“The athlete has withdrawn because of sickness,” [IOC spokeswoman Giselle Davies] said. “He confirmed this in writing to the swimming federation. We’ve also spoken with the national Olympic committee and they have underlined to us that all their athletes compete here in the right spirit against athletes from any nationality.

“We take both the athlete and the national Olympic committee at their word on this,” she said

Because taking Iran’s word for it is exactly what the world needs right now… cough… nukes… cough.

Lets look at Iran’s history of “illness”:

2004 Olympics, Athens: Iranian Judo athlete refuses to face Israeli.
July 2008, Croatia:  Iranian Swimmer refuses to compete against Israeli for Olympic qualification.

I hope it isn’t contagious.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Cause it’s common knowledge Israeli’s pee in the pool.

The first lane of the 100 meter breaststroke competition was eerily empty as the Iranian competitor refused to compete because an Israeli athlete was swimming 6 lanes away. Good riddance to you, Iran. More Olympic glory for us.

Mohammed Alirezaei forfeited his chance to fight for an Olympic medal after being drawn to compete against the Israeli swimmer, Tom Beeri.

This mirrors exactly what Alirezaei’s teammate did in July during qualifications in Croatia.

No wager that the Olympic committee takes any action against this. They already give a blind eye to the Arab countries who refuse to allow female athletes to compete for them.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Is that a timeline I see?

The proposed agreement calls for Americans to hand over parts of Baghdad’s Green Zone - where the U.S. Embassy is located - to the Iraqis by the end of 2008. It would also remove U.S. forces from Iraqi cities by June 30, 2009, according to the two senior officials, both close to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and familiar with the negotiations.

The officials, who spoke separately on condition of anonymity because the talks are ongoing, said all
U.S. combat troops would leave Iraq by October 2010, with the remaining support personnel gone “around 2013.” The schedule could be amended if both sides agree - a face-saving escape clause that would extend the presence of U.S. forces if security conditions warrant it.

I’ll be shocked if the Bush administration agrees on a withdraw timeline by the end of 2008.  It would be a HUGE turn-around from the Mr. “I refuse to say shit about withdrawing troops” Bush.  Then again, it’ll be convenient to free up a few ground forces, ya know, with an Israeli strike against Iran in the horizon.

In a totally “unrelated” story…here comes the Navy!

Two additional United States naval aircraft carriers are heading to the Gulf and the Red Sea, according to the Kuwaiti newspaper Kuwait Times.

While the Kuwaiti daily did not name the ships it believed were heading for the Middle East, The Media Line’s defense analyst said they could be the USS Theodore Roosevelt and the USS Ronald Reagan.

Note: While the Jerusalem Post cites the Kuwaiti Times as its source of information for the two U.S. aircraft carriers, I was unable to find a link to the story on their website.

EDIT: Thank you Brianyn for posting the story link from Kuwaiti Times in the comments section! The Kuwaiti Times article can be found here.

Everyone’s gut feeling for their arrival coincides with the recent Iranian mess. I suspect America & Israel are aligning their pieces for an inevitable strike:

Meanwhile, the Arabic news agency Moheet reported at the end of July that an unnamed American destroyer, accompanied by two Israeli naval vessels traveled through the Suez Canal from the Mediterranean. A week earlier, a US nuclear submarine accompanied by a destroyer and a supply ship moved into the Mediterranean, according to Moheet.

The stars are aligning, my friends.

Popularity: 4% [?]

*note the sarcasm*  This isn’t news.  Hasn’t been news for quite some time.  Ever since the “Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran” sung to the tune of the Beach Boys “Barbara Ann” it’s been clear that McCain is openly willing to speak (sing?) his mind, and what’s often on his mind is fighting Iran.  So now he’s made another off-handed quip…

When asked by a reporter to comment on how despite the U.S.’s apparent negative stance against Iran, our exports to Iran have increased tenfold with cigarettes as the #1 export, McCain had this to say- “Maybe that’s a way of killing them.”  Which he then attempted to cover himself with the addendum, “I meant that as a joke, as a person who hasn’t had a cigarette in 28 years.”

Ah, well.  That’s good.  We need another president who makes offhanded comments about war, death, violence, and the like clearly painting the world as “us vs them”… it’s worked so well for us thus far.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate someone being candid and open about their views, too many politicians are scripted by committee (looking at you Barack) but I also don’t want another sociopathic cowboy fantasy dweller using his role in the White House as a way to drag us into another war that we can’t afford, or staff.

It was a joke, true, but it’s also quite revealing as a pattern of behavior, that’s just my opinion.

Popularity: 2% [?]

…you get the idea.  Iranian Prez Mahmoud Ahmadinejad took a two day trip to the wartorn nation, and was welcomed by some, not so welcomed by others, and surprise surprise had some wonderfully kind words to say about U.S. involvement in the region.  (no, not really)

Ahmadinejad’s visit follows trips to Iran last year by top officials of Iraq’s Shiite-led government, who have been fostering a closer relationship with predominantly Shiite Iran since the Saddam Hussein regime was toppled.

His visit was greeted warmly by Iraq’s Shiite Muslim leadership, who have had longtime links with Iran that predate the overthrow of Hussein. At the same time, many Sunni Muslims in Iraq dislike the Iranian regime and have demonstrated against his visit.

The Iranian president made digs at the United States. He contrasted his trip, which was advertised in advance, with the “stealth” visits of others, a reference to visits by U.S. officials, who don’t broadcast their visits to Iraq for security reasons.

Aside from this, Ahmadinejad made statements about the U.S. no longer being welcome in the region, and his opinion that we should leave matters of the Middle East to the peoples and governments who live in that region.  He also had a bit to say about U.S. claims that Iran is backing and arming many insurgent groups that have been causing problems in Iraq.

“We do not care about their statements and remarks because they make statements based on erroneous information. We cannot count on what they say,” Ahmadinejad said. “We can offer them a friendly recommendation. We think that leveling allegations against others will not resolve the problem Americans are facing in the region.”

He said the foreign forces that came to Iraq from afar “shouldn’t interfere in the affairs of regional countries” and “should allow the region’s countries to run their own affairs.”

Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not normally one to side with madmen who live in states of great delusion… however, I do have to say, there might be some validity to parts of what has come out of his mouth regarding the visit, and the state of the region.  Especially what follows:

Although Iraq invaded Iran in September 1980 after a territorial dispute, and the two countries fought an eight-year war, Ahmadinejad said the nations share a common history and he addressed what he called the common problems of terrorism.

“We think that terrorism is something as an issue detrimental to all parties,” he said, noting that Iran, Iraq and Turkey have all been hurt by terror.

“The peoples of this region, have seen nothing but devastation and destruction and sectarian attitudes , they have seen nothing but insult and humiliation.”

How very profound.  Go figure.  That from the “We do not have homosexuals in our country” guy.  I guess even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

Popularity: 3% [?]