Apparently, England will never compare to China because those pesky unions insist on coffee breaks and 40 hour work weeks.

The director of the amazing yet eerily disturbing opening and closing Beijing ceremonies, Zhang Yimous, has a few things to say about what to expect at the 2012 Olympics in London:

China’s most famous film director, Zhang Yimou, who directed both ceremonies, said only Chinese performers were skilled, disciplined and obedient enough to lay on the sort of song and dance display seen on Sunday night and admired around the world.

In an interview with a Chinese newspaper, he did not mention London by name but nevertheless hit the heart of concerns that Britain will find it difficult to match up.

He also showed little concern for the few critical voices who found the mass organisation of thousands of performers reminiscent of the Soviet era.

“I often joke with (foreign interviewers) and say that our level of human performance is second in the world,” he said. “Number one is North Korea. Their performances are totally uniform, and uniformity in this way brings beauty. We Chinese can do it too. After hard training and strict discipline, Chinese achieve that as well.”

By contrast, he found working in the west, where he has been artistic director for a number of opera performances, something of a shock.

“It was so troublesome,” he said. “They only work four and a half days each week. Every day there are two coffee breaks, and no-one can suffer any discomfort because of human rights.

“This caused me no end of worry. One week, I thought everything had been rehearsed completely without any problems, but in fact they could not even stand in straight lines.

“You couldn’t criticize them either. They all belong to organizations - some kind of institutions, unions. We do not have that. We can work very hard, and can put up with a lot of pain.

“We can achieve in one week what they can achieve in one month. That’s the reason our performers give such brilliant performances. I think other than North Korea, no other country anywhere in the world can achieve this.”

Apparently, the price for perfection is the absence of freedom…. or human rights… or individuality.

Thank you, China, for clearing that up for us but I’ll take the (half dead) Jimmy Page and the “whats-her-name” singer over your army of lemmings any day.

Popularity: 7% [?]

The Olympic games are officially over.  Collective sigh.  As I detox from the last 16 days of Olympic grandeur, let’s reflect on the memories we’ll bring home with us from the 2008 Beijing Olympic games:

-The digitally added fireworks in the opening ceremonies.
-The child singer who was too ugly to sing.
-The condoms (and apparently, sex) that no one wanted

And lets not forget the closing ceremony which included solo work by (the corpse of) Jimmy Page, a strange random appearance by David Beckham (Did he really need to be lifted into the sky on a platform?), and that singer chick that no one can seem to name (Alicia Keys? Byonce?  Who the hell is that?).

Congrats to London.  May the 2012 Olympics come swiftly and conclude without scandal.

Now we can go back to discussing China like adults…  Tibet, censorship, and remember that little word called Communisim?

Popularity: 5% [?]