But surprise!  The military supports every commander in chief equally.  Why?  Because it’s our duty.  Anyone who claims otherwise is an unpatriotic wing-nutty windbag.

Over in the world of the politically insane, a video is floating around their sad excuse for blogs.

I present to you exhibit #1 of a video splice showing ex-President Bush speaking to a group of Marines with a video of President Obama addressing a different group of Marines.

And if you read the analysis by Mudville, it’s easy to see they’re correct.  Obama’s group of Marines are OBVIOUSLY standing at attention which means one thing… you don’t f**cking move.  Period.  Bush’s group of Marines were allowed full liberty of their emotions which is evident in the way their commander announced Bush’s arrival to the stage.

Not a fair comparison.  Not a valid argumenet. DE-BUNKED!

Dr. Doom himself (Dick Cheney) pushed President Bush hard to pardon Lewis Libby last month who was convicted in his role for leaking information about CIA employee Valerie Wilson. Bush stood his ground. Although, may I point I that previously Bush commuted Libby’s sentence which got him off a 30-month prison term. Apparently, Cheney wouldn’t rest until Libby was pardoned:

Dick Cheney spent his final days as vice president making a furious last-ditch effort to secure a pardon for his onetime chief of staff, I. Lewis Libby Jr., leaving him at odds with former President George W. Bush on a grave matter of personal loyalty as the two moved on to private life, according to several former officials.

The officials said Tuesday that Cheney’s lobbying campaign on Libby’s behalf was more intense than previously known. They said Bush was unyielding to the end, already frustrated by a deluge of last-minute pardon requests from other quarters.

Add that to his legacy book.

The new Daily Show book is out!   No wait….  this is an actual book??

The Legacy Book of President George W. Bush [pdf] :  This 52 page full color booklet proudly displays the accomplishments of our countries most… ahem…  most revered president?

I’m especially smirking at the ‘Did You Know?” sections spouting such fun facts as:

• The increase in defense funding is the largest increase since the Truman Administration.

or…

• The Bush Administration dramatically increased funding to send children in
  the developing world to school through programs such as the African Education
  Initiative.

…and then we see the President gleefully sitting in a classroom filled with impoverished children.  It’s a gas!   Are you sure Colbert didn’t have a hand in this?

I almost hate writing anything focused entirely on our outgoing Prez, mostly because I was always told you should never kick a man when he’s down… but seriously- fuck this guy.

Dubbya is trying his damnedest to look good and do good things in his last few days in office to try and maybe sway a few more in the “time will tell how good/bad a President he was” argument.  My opinion is that it’s simply too little too late for you my friend.  I don’t care if you suddenly learn how to cure cancer and give it to the world free of charge, you’ve been a reckless douche for 8 years and caused impossible amounts of harm to our country as well as others.

Anyway, his latest “hey look how good I am” stunt is the setting up of three new national monuments set off in the Pacific Ocean.

Bush’s decision to safeguard far-flung areas totaling 195,280 square miles, which comes just two weeks before he leaves office, underscores his contradictory environmental record. While he has resisted imposing mandatory curbs on greenhouse gas emissions linked to climate change and has opened large areas of the nation to drilling, mining and other use of resources, by the end of his term he will have protected more ocean than any person in history.

Invoking powers of the Antiquities Act of 1906 that are used to protect statues and cultural sites, Bush will sharply restrict oil and gas exploration and commercial fishing around numerous remote islands in the central and western Pacific that have long been U.S. possessions. Scientists identified them as biologically and geologically rich areas. The monuments, which together are equal in size to Spain, include regions teeming with sharks and other top marine predators, along with vibrant coral and hydrothermal vents.

James L. Connaughton, who chairs the White House Council on Environmental Quality, said the new designations, coupled with Bush’s 2006 decision to create the Papahanaumokuakea Marine National Monument in the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands and a handful of smaller designations, mean that Bush has matched the record of some of the nation’s most conservation-minded presidents.

Did you catch that bit in bold there.  Bush, the great guy that he is, has managed to keep up with the biggest ecologically minded Presidents we’ve ever had.  Bush.  The guy who:

• pretty much pretended Global Climate Change (for those who fear the words Global Warming) isn’t happening
• lifted the moratorium on off shore drilling that had been in place for 27 years
• basically doing anything he can to support big oil, and lets be honest, he’s done all he can for them

Now suddenly with one move, he’s done something that some conservationalists are calling his greatest legacy, (because obviously he can’t claim peace in the Middle East as he’d wanted, or a thriving economy, or an upholding of American institutions like… oh… say the Constitution on which this country was founded!) well good for him.  I hope he enjoys the moment, because soon people will get over the shock of the suddenly green move and remember how outstandingly fucked we are right now as a nation and get right back to counting down the moments til the p.o.s. is replaced.

…people are dealing with hangovers.  That said, here’s some news!

If you’re from India and looking to do some world travel… you may want to avoid Pakistan as tensions between the two countries are still running a little hot.  No one is looking to go to war (fingers crossed) but things aren’t exactly civil, and as a result India’s Foreign Ministry is warning it’s citizens to stay away from that border if they can.  Probably help tensions some if everyone stayed in their own airspace… but hey…

Meanwhile in Iran, shoe throwing has become the protest of choice as calls for the release of the shoe throwing journalist who nearly pegged the surprisingly nimble soon to be former President Bush at a press conference earlier this month continue, while the man awaits trial for his zany actions.

In bummer news, one time Catwoman Eartha Kitt has passed away as a result of colon cancer at age 81.

There’s a new green fuel being used- liposuctioned fat!  Unfortunately the man who had been doing the surgeries was allowing unlicensed assistants help him out leaving some of his patients scarred, and it’s illegal to use medical waste to fuel machinery.  Ah well, it was worth a shot.  Next up is used VHS tapes  just a thought…

Good news for lazy bums who enjoy their naptime- apparently sleeping a little more can help prevent calcium deposits from forming in the heart.  So next time someone yells at you for sleeping in, just tell them you’re not lazy, you’re healthy!

While the economy may be down, and retail chains are posting record low numbers and in some cases closing their doors, there’s one company that did quite well this holiday season- Amazon.com had it’s best season ever after 14 years of being active.  Apparently brutal winter storms, long or inconvenient hours of work (for those who still have jobs), gas prices, and a desire to avoid shopping nightmares like black friday, along with general laziness and the ease of button clicking as a shopping method, all contributed to people just staying in and shopping from home and making Amazon a winner this year.  Good for you.  (btw… late gifters, Amazon.com also carries my books of poetry, I’m just sayin’)

Who’s having the best year ever?  Why it must be President Elect Barack Obama who now tops the list of people most admired by Americans according to a recent poll, topping former #1 George W. Bush, who now sits in 2nd place.  One could pro’lly make the case that whoever holds the Presidency will pretty much always be at the top of the list, but it’s still worth noting.  Who else made the list? 

USA Today says one-third of about 1,000 people interviewed named Mr. Obama as their first or second choice. The report published Friday says it is the first time a president-elect has topped the yearly survey in more than 50 years.

U.S. President George Bush fell to a distant second in the survey after holding the top spot for seven years.

Hillary Clinton – Mr. Obama’s pick for secretary of state – emerged as the most-admired woman in the poll, a position she has held for 13 of the past 16 years.
 
Republican John McCain’s running mate, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, came in second on the women’s list, while McCain himself ranked third among men.

Pope Benedict, the Reverend Billy Graham and Hillary Clinton’s husband, former President Bill Clinton, tied for fourth most-admired man.

Among the most admired women, talk-show host Oprah Winfrey came in third, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice placed fourth and Mr. Obama’s wife, Michelle Obama, ranked fifth.

The survey was conducted by phone in the middle of December.

USA Today says this year’s support for Mr. Obama is the second-highest rating in the survey’s history, behind President Bush’s 39 percent in 2001 after the September 11 terrorist attacks.

The paper says support for President Bush has declined almost every year since then, falling this year to just five percent.

So there you go folks your post Christmas wrap-up, now I’m off to take a nap… just looking out for my heart!

I got the “Pardon My President” 2009 calendar which has weekly postcards of pre-written apologies to everyone GWB has screwed during his terms.   I thought I’d share a page from October (I didn’t have the patience to wait until then):

Dear People of Iraq,

What can I possibly say? I know it hasn’t been easy being occupied. Having your doors kicked in. Seeing your men stripped naked and photographed for amusement. Living in constant fear of death.

On the other hand, it hasn’t exactly been a picnic occupying you. How are we supposed to react when we see innocent contractors kidnapped and beheaded? When we see the charred bodies of American civilians paraded through the streets? Would you rather we let your completely ineffectual government handle things? Should we leave you to enjoy a few decades of civil war or prop up another brutal dictator and let him have his way with you?

I’m sorry George W. Bush chose you as the subject for his experiment in preemptive war. I’m sorry we didn’t send enough troops to secure the peace. Im sorry we botched restoring basic services like electricity. But all the apologies in the world won’t change that we are where we are. No apology can bring back the thousands of Americans who have been killed or maimed on your streets, or the tens of thousands of you who have died since the invasion.

We don’t want to be in Iraq any more than you want us to be in Iraq. You think American soldiers enjoy being in your country? Have you ever been to America? Let me tell you, it’s way, way more fun than Iraq.

You want us to leave?  It’s very simple: stop blowing us up.

All the best.

Click to play

[source: ridiculopathy.com]

The blogosphere and news outlets are all a-flutter about it. I know you know that I know you know what happened so I’ll spare you the details. Here are my initial reactions when I watched the video of an Iraqi reporter throwing his shoes at President Bush in Baghdad yesterday:

Reaction #1.  The President has great reflexes.  Seriously, he’s a pretty nimble guy.  Can you imagine if it was Bob Dole up at that podium?  He’d have a Nike symbol branded into his forehead.

Reaction #2.  This may be the veteran in me but Fuck You, Iraqi journalist!

Reaction #3.  Damn, I wish it was me throwing that shoe  (Yes, I know I’m a contradiction wrapped up in an enigma mangled inside of a conundrum).

Welcome to Shoegate 2008.

One thing that I’ve agreed on with the Republicans in the last month is their rejection of the automaker bailout.  I’ve felt from day one that an automaker bailout would simply elongate their inevitable death and that tossing more money at them would be pulling taxpayers down too.  The root of our economic problems comes from a old and dysfunctional infrastructure based on fossil fuels, over spending, and our unwillingness to adapt to renewable energy.

We know what the problem is and we know that changes have to be made.  I guess the question is WHEN we’re going to start making those changes to turn our country from fossil fuel and energy dependent to self sustaining and independent.

Apparently, we’re too chicken shit to start that process now.

On Friday, Congress still hadn’t passed a $14 billion bailout plan to be injected directly into the dinosaur automakers.   I cheered.  The Republicans were actually doing something good!  They were remembering their roots as fiscally responsible lawmakers and conservative spenders.  They were drawing a line and starting to convince the Democrats of the same.

But then the White House and President Bush comes galloping in to steal destroy take-over rescue the day.  The White House has promised $15 billion of the $700 billion TARP funds originally passed to bail out Wall Street for the automakers.

I’m glad to see our political process is working so well that one man can simply make the decision of spending the money of millions of people (taxpayers).

So the automakers will get their money and the taxpayers will continue to groan under the weight.  There won’t be any oversight in how the big three are spending the money and I suspect we’ve pushed renewable energy priorities straight to the bottom of the list.  I’m aware that hundreds of thousands of jobs are at stake here but sometimes the best way to fast-track change is the have our backs against the wall.

It’s a moving story.  Bush ambles off his Marine helicoper (amusingly named “Marine One”) and approaches two Marines waiting on the White House South Lawn.  They were both injured while serving in Iraq, one of which is in a wheel chair.  As they pose for a picture, the wheel chair bound Marine pushes himself to stand for a picture next to the Commander in Chief.  Admittadly, an incredibly noble act by the young Marine.

Then Bush has to go fudge it all up by giving the Marines a “holier than thou” kiss on the forehead.  God damn your Jesus complex:

After climbing down from his Marine One helicopter, Bush walked toward the White House, then stopped and approached the Marines, one of whom was in a wheelchair. The president greeted Lance Cpl. Patrick Pittman Jr., of Savannah, Ga., and Lance Cpl. Marc Olson, of Coal City, Ill.

Bush directed aides to turn Pittman’s wheelchair around. Instead, Pittman stood next to the president for the photograph. They were joined by Olson’s mother, Pinky Kloski.

Bush had a few words for the two Marines as they stood on either side, then kissed each on the top of the head.

Oh! oh!  But the best part is the final line of the news item:

Earlier in the day, the president had traveled to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point to speak about the military and strategy during his tenure as commander in chief.

Bush was lecturing WEST POINT about military STRATEGY!  Wait, have to wipe this tear from my eye.  Laughing too hard.  Must breathe.  sigh.

[source: Military.com]