Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad didn’t attend the summer Olympics in Beijing last month.

I’m sure Bush was sorely dissapointed not to have had the chance to shake the hand of a man who may possibly be more of an ass-hole than himself.

But he arrived with much vigor to support disabled Iranian athletes in Beijing this weekend.  His reason?  Many of the athletes representing Iran are disabled from war time wounds.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arrived in Beijing Saturday morning to attend the opening ceremony of the Beijing 2008 Paralympic Games due to be held in China on September 6-17.

Upon his arrival at Beijing’s International Airport, President Ahmadinejad and his entourage were welcomed by Assistant Foreign Minister of China Zhai Jun as well as Iran’s Ambassador to China Javad Mansouri and a number of Iranian diplomats.

The President is to attend the opening ceremony of the Beijing 2008 Paralympics Games to be held in the ‘Bird Nest’ Saturday evening.

Iran’s paralympic teams consisted of 73 athletes who would contest in nine different fields.

Prior to attend the opening ceremony, President Ahmadinejad is to meet with Iranian paralympics athletes at Beijing’s Olympic Village.

His visit to China is aimed at highlighting great ability of the Iranian athletes who are mainly war veterans suffering from physical disability

His goodness overflow-eth.

The Olympic games are officially over.  Collective sigh.  As I detox from the last 16 days of Olympic grandeur, let’s reflect on the memories we’ll bring home with us from the 2008 Beijing Olympic games:

-The digitally added fireworks in the opening ceremonies.
-The child singer who was too ugly to sing.
-The condoms (and apparently, sex) that no one wanted

And lets not forget the closing ceremony which included solo work by (the corpse of) Jimmy Page, a strange random appearance by David Beckham (Did he really need to be lifted into the sky on a platform?), and that singer chick that no one can seem to name (Alicia Keys? Byonce?  Who the hell is that?).

Congrats to London.  May the 2012 Olympics come swiftly and conclude without scandal.

Now we can go back to discussing China like adults…  Tibet, censorship, and remember that little word called Communisim?

Off beat, maybe, but interesting none-the-less:

Two-thirds of the 100,000 condoms available to competitors at the Beijing Games have gone unused in the Olympic village’s medical clinic—in stark contrast to previous games.

Organizers ran out of prophylactics at the 2000 Sydney Games, which forced Athens organizers to nearly double the total available to 130,000 four years later.

“Athletes should know about the condoms—it’s a tradition of the Olympic Games,” said Vhao Wyanli, assistant director at the medical clinic inside the Olympic village.

The 10,500 athletes housed in the Olympic village have access to the free condoms as part of a campaign on HIV prevention and anti-discrimination.

Let’s theorize why this phenomenon is occurring at the Beijing Olympics:

• Chinese pollution is having an adverse affect on sexual drive.
• The women’s Olympic weightlifting event is being telecast in the Olympic village.
• They all want Phelps… but he’s too busy eating 12,000 calories of food a day (I wonder how many calorie are in…….  ).

There’s still 6 days left in the Olympics. Any wagers on if the 6,666 condoms remaining in the stockpile will be used? Maybe the closing ceremonies will include some interesting balloon animals.

The International Olympic Committee was poised to take sanctions against Iran for withdrawing from the 100-meter breaststroke because of an Israeli competitor six lanes away.

But instead of Iran admitting that the shun was rooted in antisemitism, they give another reason for the swimmer bailing:

“The athlete has withdrawn because of sickness,” [IOC spokeswoman Giselle Davies] said. “He confirmed this in writing to the swimming federation. We’ve also spoken with the national Olympic committee and they have underlined to us that all their athletes compete here in the right spirit against athletes from any nationality.

“We take both the athlete and the national Olympic committee at their word on this,” she said

Because taking Iran’s word for it is exactly what the world needs right now… cough… nukes… cough.

Lets look at Iran’s history of “illness”:

2004 Olympics, Athens: Iranian Judo athlete refuses to face Israeli.
July 2008, Croatia:  Iranian Swimmer refuses to compete against Israeli for Olympic qualification.

I hope it isn’t contagious.

Cause it’s common knowledge Israeli’s pee in the pool.

The first lane of the 100 meter breaststroke competition was eerily empty as the Iranian competitor refused to compete because an Israeli athlete was swimming 6 lanes away. Good riddance to you, Iran. More Olympic glory for us.

Mohammed Alirezaei forfeited his chance to fight for an Olympic medal after being drawn to compete against the Israeli swimmer, Tom Beeri.

This mirrors exactly what Alirezaei’s teammate did in July during qualifications in Croatia.

No wager that the Olympic committee takes any action against this. They already give a blind eye to the Arab countries who refuse to allow female athletes to compete for them.

….and many believe (raising my hand) that they should be banned from the Olympics.

Countries with men-only Olympic teams include Brunei, the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia. According to their respective governments, women are barred from Olympic participation for “cultural and religious reasons.”

The International Olympic Committee charter states that “any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, sex or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic Movement.”

The Olympic Committee charter clearly states the illegality of the Arab countries, yet they’re still allowed to compete.

It’s a little reminiscent of the shameful ban on black athletes during the infancy of the Olympic games…. hmmmm.

Then again, we’re talking about a country that bans the sale of dogs and cats in its capital. Apparently, walking a cute animal in public is a catalyst for attracting the opposite sex. And we can’t have flirtation, now can we?

Originally banned from the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, the International Olympics Committee has made an exception for Iraq.  What’s the catch, you ask?   Iraq has sworn to hold free elections for their Olympics committee which was what originally caused alarm for the international committee.

I present to you, the 2008 Iraqi Olympics Team.  No photographs, please.

[photo]

I wanna see thumbs with purple ink spots, damnit.