Hilary Clinton has had a tough time lately, between all the “boys club” picking on her, and the poor response to the public assaults on Barack Obama’s character- things can look dreary for the former first lady- whom many were already not very fond of. So what to do in times of crisis? Go with what works- and what works, is Bill Clinton.

The lovable hound-dog former Prez still has a knack with the people that his wife just doesn’t have, plus people remember his time in office as a more prosperous age for America. So Hillary’s doing what any former first lady turned candidate would do… Milking her husband and his past record for all that it’s worth.

As part of the Clinton strategy, the former president is playing an increasingly prominent public role as an advocate for his wife. He appears to have overcome concerns within the campaign over how closely she should associate her candidacy with his time in office and over whether his appearances could draw attention away from her.Both Clintons are making the case that theirs was a co-presidency - an echo of Bill Clinton’s controversial statement during the 1992 campaign that voters would get “two for the price of one” if they elected him. At times, the former president has seemed to cast the current race as a referendum on his administration.Hillary Clinton (N.Y.), the Democratic front-runner nationally but facing strong challenges in Iowa and New Hampshire from Obama, has shifted her emphasis repeatedly over the past few months as the senator from Illinois made inroads in the two states. She has tried to show a more “human” side, and on Friday brought along her daughter, Chelsea, and her mother to events here titled “The Hillary I Know.”

Of course it remains to be seen if people will want to continue on the “legacies” in the White House that a Hillary win could set up with our past 4 presidents then becoming Bush, Clinton, Bush, and Clinton. But if there’s anyone the people would get behind, it’s Bill, of course, that’s probably because if you let Bill get behind you- you’re going to get goosed in the most inappropriate ways.

Popularity: 3% [?]

…in New York City.

It sounds like something straight out of the Middle East. But in fact, there’s two things in this story that seem obviously American to me.

1. It’s not a shock to anyone that a Muslim would help a Jew. The bottom line is that 99% of us really don’t give two shakes about these religious boundaries half the world seems to be shedding blood over.

2. Where else would you find such an ignorantly hilarious idea that Hanukkah is to celebrate the death of Jesus?

(For those reading through a feedburner, please click the direct link to view the video at the PM website.)

Popularity: 3% [?]

The Sec of State, C. Rice is telling the N. Koreans to get there shit together and get going on it’s pledge to “disable all nuclear weapons facilities and provide a complete declaration of its atomic programs by year’s end”.  But, you know, if not by years end- then, soon ok?

The declaration is due by Dec. 31, which is also the technical deadline for the disabling of North Korea’s plutonium plant at Yongbyon, now under way. However, diplomats have said the North would likely not be safely able to complete one key disablement step — removing the fuel rods from its reactor — for several months.

“I sincerely hope it will be by the end of the year, but the key is to get this process right,” Rice said.

The above is one of the smartest statements to ever come out of the mouth of someone working within the Bush administration.  Ever.

If North Korea meets its commitments, the U.S. has said it will remove the North from terrorism and sanctions blacklists and enter into talks to forge a permanent peace deal to end the Korean War.

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable plan.  And one the U.S. is hoping will inspire Iran to cut out enriching uranium which could be used for nukes, whether they intend to use it for nukes or not (they probably do).  I think our goal is to be the only nation on Earth that still has nukes.  But that’s ok, everyone is probably safe with that being the case, well, unless you live in the continental U.S. and a bomber just happens to be flying overhead with nukes that we’ve happened to misplace and leave on a plane. 

i know i know, that only happened once, but really, when it comes to losing track of nuclear weapons, isn’t once entirely one too many times?

Popularity: 3% [?]

They say that each American citizen (man, woman, child, infant, and I wouldn’t be surprised if household pets are included) owes $30,000 as part of our countries national debt.

At least $400 billion of our debt is to China.

And now our countries most premier financial adviser has fallen into the “red” along with our government:

Morgan Stanley posted its first quarterly loss ever Wednesday after taking an additional $5.7 billion write-down related to subprime mortgages. The investment bank also said it would sell a $5 billion stake to China Investment Corp., a sovereign wealth fund, to shore up its capital.

Who’s next, McDonalds?

Popularity: 3% [?]

It’s the last full week before x-mas, which means stress is at an all-time high for anyone who even thinks of stepping out of their homes, so with that in mind- I give you nothing but Good News.

First- good news from Iraq! 

Lt. Gen. Ray Odierno, the man responsible for the ground campaign in Iraq, said the first six months of 2007 were probably the most violent since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003. The last six months, however, had seen some of the lowest levels of violence since the conflict began, Odierno said, attributing the change to an increase in American troops and better-trained Iraqi forces.

Violence down?  Always a good thing.  That’s right folks, no snide comments, no buts, no asides, just hey- that’s good, let’s roll with it.

I don’t usually do entertainment news, but hey, it’s Good News, so I’ll do it!

(Will Smith) proved once more that he is the No. 1 movie star in the world, with an incredible $76.5 million opening for the sci-fi flick I Am Legend. Smith not only beat his own personal-best box office opening-day numbers ($52.2 million for 2004’s I, Robot), but Legend eclipsed Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King to become the highest-grossing December opener ever.

Why is this important?  Because this fall has been horrid for turnouts at the theaters, and so this marks a change in a negative trend.  Making it… Good News!  Yay!

Hey, remember the girl in Saudi Arabia who was gang raped and then sentenced to 200 lashes and 6 months in prison? 

Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has pardoned a gang-rape victim whose sentencing to 200 lashes by a Saudi court provoked an international outcry, a Saudi newspaper reported on Monday.

That’s right, someone’s actually letting reason take the place of misguided aims at sticking with traditions in law, and giving the poor girl a break after the horrible ordeal she went through.  Justice (relatively) served?  Good News!

We’ve got some really interesting Candidates for President- check out for example, Ron Paul.  The dude loves himself some dates with historical relevance.

Ron Paul supporters marched through the snow yesterday from the State House to Faneuil Hall, then smashed the one-day fund-raising record for a Republican presidential candidate.

As of 10 last night, the supporters said, they had raked in about $5.2 million, surpassing the record $4.2 million they raised on Nov. 5.

Most of the donations were made over the Internet in what the supporters called a “money bomb” timed to coincide with the 234th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party. The last fund-raising blitz, which took in 40,000 donations, was timed to coincide with Guy Fawkes Day, which commemorates a British mercenary who tried unsuccessfully to kill King James I on Nov. 5, 1605.

That’s right man, celebrate bucking the established system!  And congrats on the record breaking.  That sounds like… Good News!

Even the Wicked Witch of the Left seems to be softening, or well, trying to make it look like she is?  Either way…

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, trying to warm up an image some voters perceive as cold, starts a drive Monday to showcase her personal side with testimonials from friends, associates and constituents she has helped.

The online and in-person campaign, complete with a website called TheHillaryIKnow.com, comes a day after Clinton won a key endorsement from The Des Moines Register and her chief rival in the Democratic nomination race, Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, was endorsed by The Boston Globe.

Endorsements and warmth?  Sounds like Good News to me!

And lastly- want to hear the best news in the world of health since penicillin?

A recent Newsweek article found that regular sex has six amazing health benefits. It can increase a youthful appearance, promote the production of germ-fighting antibodies, strengthen a woman’s pelvic floor, burn calories, stabilize a woman’s menstrual cycle and offer natural pain relief in the form of orgasms.

That’s right, you want to be healthy, get yourself some good sexin’!*  That’s not just Good News… That’s Great News!

*we here at patriot missive only endorse safe sex of a consensual nature between adults.  that aside- feel free to go buckwild with your bad selves.

Popularity: 3% [?]