Hilary Clinton has had a tough time lately, between all the “boys club” picking on her, and the poor response to the public assaults on Barack Obama’s character- things can look dreary for the former first lady- whom many were already not very fond of. So what to do in times of crisis? Go with what works- and what works, is Bill Clinton.

The lovable hound-dog former Prez still has a knack with the people that his wife just doesn’t have, plus people remember his time in office as a more prosperous age for America. So Hillary’s doing what any former first lady turned candidate would do… Milking her husband and his past record for all that it’s worth.

As part of the Clinton strategy, the former president is playing an increasingly prominent public role as an advocate for his wife. He appears to have overcome concerns within the campaign over how closely she should associate her candidacy with his time in office and over whether his appearances could draw attention away from her.Both Clintons are making the case that theirs was a co-presidency - an echo of Bill Clinton’s controversial statement during the 1992 campaign that voters would get “two for the price of one” if they elected him. At times, the former president has seemed to cast the current race as a referendum on his administration.Hillary Clinton (N.Y.), the Democratic front-runner nationally but facing strong challenges in Iowa and New Hampshire from Obama, has shifted her emphasis repeatedly over the past few months as the senator from Illinois made inroads in the two states. She has tried to show a more “human” side, and on Friday brought along her daughter, Chelsea, and her mother to events here titled “The Hillary I Know.”

Of course it remains to be seen if people will want to continue on the “legacies” in the White House that a Hillary win could set up with our past 4 presidents then becoming Bush, Clinton, Bush, and Clinton. But if there’s anyone the people would get behind, it’s Bill, of course, that’s probably because if you let Bill get behind you- you’re going to get goosed in the most inappropriate ways.

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…in New York City.

It sounds like something straight out of the Middle East. But in fact, there’s two things in this story that seem obviously American to me.

1. It’s not a shock to anyone that a Muslim would help a Jew. The bottom line is that 99% of us really don’t give two shakes about these religious boundaries half the world seems to be shedding blood over.

2. Where else would you find such an ignorantly hilarious idea that Hanukkah is to celebrate the death of Jesus?

(For those reading through a feedburner, please click the direct link to view the video at the PM website.)

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The Sec of State, C. Rice is telling the N. Koreans to get there shit together and get going on it’s pledge to “disable all nuclear weapons facilities and provide a complete declaration of its atomic programs by year’s end”.  But, you know, if not by years end- then, soon ok?

The declaration is due by Dec. 31, which is also the technical deadline for the disabling of North Korea’s plutonium plant at Yongbyon, now under way. However, diplomats have said the North would likely not be safely able to complete one key disablement step — removing the fuel rods from its reactor — for several months.

“I sincerely hope it will be by the end of the year, but the key is to get this process right,” Rice said.

The above is one of the smartest statements to ever come out of the mouth of someone working within the Bush administration.  Ever.

If North Korea meets its commitments, the U.S. has said it will remove the North from terrorism and sanctions blacklists and enter into talks to forge a permanent peace deal to end the Korean War.

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable plan.  And one the U.S. is hoping will inspire Iran to cut out enriching uranium which could be used for nukes, whether they intend to use it for nukes or not (they probably do).  I think our goal is to be the only nation on Earth that still has nukes.  But that’s ok, everyone is probably safe with that being the case, well, unless you live in the continental U.S. and a bomber just happens to be flying overhead with nukes that we’ve happened to misplace and leave on a plane. 

i know i know, that only happened once, but really, when it comes to losing track of nuclear weapons, isn’t once entirely one too many times?

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They say that each American citizen (man, woman, child, infant, and I wouldn’t be surprised if household pets are included) owes $30,000 as part of our countries national debt.

At least $400 billion of our debt is to China.

And now our countries most premier financial adviser has fallen into the “red” along with our government:

Morgan Stanley posted its first quarterly loss ever Wednesday after taking an additional $5.7 billion write-down related to subprime mortgages. The investment bank also said it would sell a $5 billion stake to China Investment Corp., a sovereign wealth fund, to shore up its capital.

Who’s next, McDonalds?

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It’s the last full week before x-mas, which means stress is at an all-time high for anyone who even thinks of stepping out of their homes, so with that in mind- I give you nothing but Good News.

First- good news from Iraq! 

Lt. Gen. Ray Odierno, the man responsible for the ground campaign in Iraq, said the first six months of 2007 were probably the most violent since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003. The last six months, however, had seen some of the lowest levels of violence since the conflict began, Odierno said, attributing the change to an increase in American troops and better-trained Iraqi forces.

Violence down?  Always a good thing.  That’s right folks, no snide comments, no buts, no asides, just hey- that’s good, let’s roll with it.

I don’t usually do entertainment news, but hey, it’s Good News, so I’ll do it!

(Will Smith) proved once more that he is the No. 1 movie star in the world, with an incredible $76.5 million opening for the sci-fi flick I Am Legend. Smith not only beat his own personal-best box office opening-day numbers ($52.2 million for 2004’s I, Robot), but Legend eclipsed Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King to become the highest-grossing December opener ever.

Why is this important?  Because this fall has been horrid for turnouts at the theaters, and so this marks a change in a negative trend.  Making it… Good News!  Yay!

Hey, remember the girl in Saudi Arabia who was gang raped and then sentenced to 200 lashes and 6 months in prison? 

Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has pardoned a gang-rape victim whose sentencing to 200 lashes by a Saudi court provoked an international outcry, a Saudi newspaper reported on Monday.

That’s right, someone’s actually letting reason take the place of misguided aims at sticking with traditions in law, and giving the poor girl a break after the horrible ordeal she went through.  Justice (relatively) served?  Good News!

We’ve got some really interesting Candidates for President- check out for example, Ron Paul.  The dude loves himself some dates with historical relevance.

Ron Paul supporters marched through the snow yesterday from the State House to Faneuil Hall, then smashed the one-day fund-raising record for a Republican presidential candidate.

As of 10 last night, the supporters said, they had raked in about $5.2 million, surpassing the record $4.2 million they raised on Nov. 5.

Most of the donations were made over the Internet in what the supporters called a “money bomb” timed to coincide with the 234th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party. The last fund-raising blitz, which took in 40,000 donations, was timed to coincide with Guy Fawkes Day, which commemorates a British mercenary who tried unsuccessfully to kill King James I on Nov. 5, 1605.

That’s right man, celebrate bucking the established system!  And congrats on the record breaking.  That sounds like… Good News!

Even the Wicked Witch of the Left seems to be softening, or well, trying to make it look like she is?  Either way…

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, trying to warm up an image some voters perceive as cold, starts a drive Monday to showcase her personal side with testimonials from friends, associates and constituents she has helped.

The online and in-person campaign, complete with a website called TheHillaryIKnow.com, comes a day after Clinton won a key endorsement from The Des Moines Register and her chief rival in the Democratic nomination race, Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, was endorsed by The Boston Globe.

Endorsements and warmth?  Sounds like Good News to me!

And lastly- want to hear the best news in the world of health since penicillin?

A recent Newsweek article found that regular sex has six amazing health benefits. It can increase a youthful appearance, promote the production of germ-fighting antibodies, strengthen a woman’s pelvic floor, burn calories, stabilize a woman’s menstrual cycle and offer natural pain relief in the form of orgasms.

That’s right, you want to be healthy, get yourself some good sexin’!*  That’s not just Good News… That’s Great News!

*we here at patriot missive only endorse safe sex of a consensual nature between adults.  that aside- feel free to go buckwild with your bad selves.

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…and the smallest dog in the yard just told the biggest to get the hell out of the way!

In a hushed conference hall, as envoys from 186 nations looked on, the world’s lone superpower took a tongue-lashing from its most powerless, nation after poor nation assailing the U.S. ”no” on the document at hand. Then the delegate from Papua New Guinea leaned into his microphone.

”We seek your leadership,” Kevin Conrad told the Americans. ”But if for some reason you are not willing to lead, leave it to the rest of us. Please get out of the way.”

It was after this remark at the U.N. climate conference in Bali that the conference hall erupted into applause. Which just goes to show, sometimes being the most powerful nation in the world- doesn’t mean we’ll be the most loved (no shit).

As point after point was raised, and the U.S. shot down participation in each new proposition, the boos just kept coming. For example-

India sought to amend the document to strengthen requirements for richer nations to help poorer with technology to limit emissions and adapt to climate change’s impacts.

Dobriansky objected. ”We are not prepared to accept this formulation,” she said, setting off loud, long boos in the hall.

Next, delegate after delegate took aim at the United States. Dobriansky’s intervention was ”most unwelcome and without any basis,” the South African said. ”We would like to beg them” to relent, the Ugandan said. Then Conrad delivered his sharp rebuke of U.S. ”leadership.”

Ouch, seems like we just couldn’t get any love. Did no one have our backs?

America’s isolation was complete. No one spoke in support. And Dobriansky capitulated, withdrawing the U.S. objection, to general applause.

She later told reporters the delegation dropped its opposition because it was reassured that developing nations would make a contribution to emissions reductions under the Bali Roadmap.

Hans Verolme, World Wildlife Fund climate campaigner, offered a different interpretation. ”We have learned a historical lesson: if you expose to the world the dealings of the United States, they will ultimately back down,” he said.

Ultimately back down? Don’t let the terrorists get wind of that.

As more talks are scheduled for the coming years, it’s widely hoped that our next President’s administration will be more keen to working with the rest of the world when it comes to issues of climate and global well-being.

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It was made famous by Yassar Arafat; the black and white checkered cloth that represented the leader of Palestine. Now the western world embraces the style that represents all that is Palestinian fashion:

The Arafat Scarf

Originally displayed at arkclothing.com, they promptly changed its name from the Ark Arafat Scarf to the Ark Shemagh Scarf after their site was bombed by blogger traffic. (It’s like a car wreck. We just gotta look.)

Check out the screenie Israellycool managed to grab before the site made a few “adjustments”.

And for a good snicker, also check out these two Finnish tikes sportin’ the cool side of terrorism.

**hat tip to LGF

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1st up- as reported previously here at PM, Bush wrote a letter to N. Korea asking them to, you know, stop being douchey with the whole evil dictator with bombs and threats and such.  Well, they’ve written back, and basically just wanted us to know they’re good with that, and they expect us to kinda do the same.  Isn’t it great when we can all play nice?

Oh hey- speaking of playing nice, the Israeli Prime Minister said he’s not going to initiate any major offensives against the Palestinian rocket crews along the Gaza Strip in the next month, even though the rocket crews have been launching, you know, rockets at them.  But good ol’ G. Dubbya is going to be showing up around the 9th of Jan. and they don’t want the violence to overshadow his visit.  Of course, if there’s any major casualties in the near future as a result of the rockets, well then it’s whoop-ass time.

Of course, Bush’s visit will be waiting until after the holiday season, which more poor kids can celebrate by, you know, getting sick and suffering a lack of health care because they have no insurance and Bush vetoed again a bill to provide health care for the children of the less well-to-do.  But hey, on the plus side- there will be tons of good candidates to play Tiny Tim in local theater productions of A Christmas Carol!  You gotta look on the bright side with these things.

And while we’re on the topic of the bright-side… (yes, I am a master at the transition from one topic to the next) …there’s good news for anybody convicted of a crime in New Jersey, at least you don’t have to worry about getting the death penalty anymore, cuz Jersey doesn’t roll like that anymore.  That’s right, New Jersey has become the first state to formally abolish the death penalty.  Of course, you’ve still got to worry about prison sex…  ewww… 

That was really kind’ve random.

Oh, before I forget- while on the topic of all things random…  Ladies and Gentlemen, South Korea is proud to present- Glowing Cats!  Um… what?  That’s right, in an effort to discover ways to treat human genetic diseases, scientists in S. Korea have spliced in some genes to cloned cats they cooked up that make them glow red when exposed to UV light.  I have no idea what glowing red has to do with disease, but hey, I’m no scientist.

So there you have it, a nice little slice of news you can butter up like toast and snack on with your morning coffee.

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This just in!! The governor of Nebraska, Dave Heineman, will be endorsing Reppy Mitt Romney.

hmmm…. Obama has Oprah. Mitt has the governor of Nebraska. It’s almost not fair.

And not that this is particularly relevant to anything:

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New Hampshire- with the primaries lurking just around the corner (Jan 8th for N.H.) the Presidential Candidates have been hitting the communities and speaking to the people, and the people are speaking right back.  What do they have to say?

…(N)ot a single voter in a packed ski lodge asked Sen. Hillary Clinton about the Iraq war.

The closest Sen. John McCain came to Iraq during a town hall meeting in Bedford was a question about U.S. intelligence on Iran.

…(A)t a crowded house party for former Sen. John Edwards, only one person spoke up to ask how he plans to end combat missions and bring the troops home.

Basically, what was once the biggest issue on folk’s minds as far as the next President was concerned- is now almost a non-issue.

Among Democrats in New Hampshire, 57 percent said in June that the Iraq war was the issue most important to them, but by November that had dropped to 41 percent. Among Republicans, 36 percent said in June that they were most concerned about Iraq, and by November that figure was down to 22 percent, according to Smith’s state polling.

At the same time, voters clearly have become more concerned about their personal economic security.

In Bedford on Friday night, Sheilagh Shiepe told McCain that when she picks up her children at school, she often hears other middle-class moms talking about going without food to cover the bills.

“When people can’t pay their mortgages, the first thing they do is not buy their food,” Shiepe said. “I just really need to hear what you think of the economic situation.”

…(T)he shift in voters’ concerns has prompted the candidates to increasingly emphasize fiscal issues. Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, for example, likes to give a PowerPoint presentation outlining the long-term economic threats facing the nation from the falling dollar, a persistent trade deficit and increased federal spending.

“The people of New Hampshire are still concerned about the continuing war and how we’re going to get out of the war,” said Ray Buckley, chairman of the New Hampshire Democratic Party. “But if you don’t have enough money at the end of the day to keep your family warm, that suddenly becomes a very dominant issue.”

You know what might help us out as a country financially?  Not spending so much money on the war.  But that’s just my thought.  I don’t know.  Just throwing shit out there.

Oh, and hey, before I forget- one other interesting little tid-bit of news…

President Bush on Tuesday called on Iran to explain why it had a secretive nuclear weapons program, and warned that any such efforts must not be allowed to flourish ”for the sake of world peace.”

”Iran is dangerous,” Bush said after an Oval Office meeting with Italian President Giorgio Napolitano. ”We believe Iran had a secret military weapons program, and Iran must explain to the world why they had such a program.”

Read that again, but when you do- focus on the word “had”.  It’s used a few times. 

Bush wants to know why Iran HAD a secret weapons program, which they don’t have now, as many reports have been coming in stating.

Iran has said its nuclear program is peaceful, but until last week, the United States and Western allies had countered that Iran was hiding plans for a bomb.

Until last week… when reports said there is no hidden bomb.  So now Bush wants to know why Iran had a hidden bomb which they don’t have now, but they must have had then, because we said they did, and we can’t possibly be wrong about people hiding weapons of mass destruction when we say they’re there, but all the evidence says they’re not, but they have to tell us why they were there, even if they weren’t, and…  ARGH!!!

*my head hurts* 

Is anyone else going friggin insane trying to follow this shit?!?!?

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