I really wish I was making all this up, but I’m afraid that the constant blathering on and on about which Dem candidate is doing what to who is both real, and ri-friggin-diculous. And quickly becoming the front runner for poor judgement in attacks… Hillary Clinton.

I hate to say it, but I think she was much better off in the roll of victim of attack, because as someone on the attack- she just looks like… well… a bitch.

Hillary Clinton’s bad week began innocently enough, with a news release Sunday that many political reporters initially assumed had been written in jest.

The 550-word missive from Clinton’s campaign headquarters accused rival Barack Obama of “rewriting history” by claiming he didn’t always want to be president of the United States.

The evidence of Obama’s longstanding White House dreams was documented in a bold headline, to emphasize its scandalous nature: “In kindergarten, Senator Obama wrote an essay titled ‘I Want to Become President.’ ”

When it quickly became clear that Clinton wasn’t joking – she subsequently cast Obama as a power-thirsty rookie senator during several campaign appearances – her opponents pounced.

“I want to confess to all of you right now,” fellow Democratic candidate John Edwards said in Iowa, “In third grade, I wanted to be two things: I wanted to be a cowboy, and I wanted to be Superman.”

Ok, and Edwards wasn’t even the target of the initial attack. Well, if Hillary is indeed a (female dog) then she’s the perfect compliment for her hound dog counterpart of a husband-

At the Spanish Institute Gold Medal Gala, Bill Clinton switched seats with fashion designer Oscar de la Renta so that he could be seated next to Penelope Cruz, the New York Post reports.

He had been next to Queen Sofia of Spain. When presented with a medallion from her, Clinton told the audience:

“I was trying to figure out exactly why I would receive this award tonight. It may be because, even though I’m not of Spanish descent, I’ve seen every one of Penelope Cruz’s movies — and I liked them all.”

*polite tittering (no puns here, I swear) of laughter*

Anyway, he’s been busy causing cam-Pain (witty eh?) for his wife in other ways-

A week after causing his wife’s presidential campaign a headache by saying he had opposed the Iraq war from the start, former President Clinton accused the news media on Tuesday of misrepresenting his remarks.

In brief comments to the Los Angeles Times, the former president also defended Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s attacks this week on Sen. Barack Obama, her chief rival for the Democrats’ White House nomination.

The former president’s large and enthusiastic crowds attested to his value as his wife’s chief surrogate. But the criticism sparked by his statement in Iowa last week that he opposed the Iraq war “from the beginning” underscored the risk. Obama, for one, laughed at the remark, saying, “If he did, I don’t think most of us heard about it.”

Obama, who spoke out against the 2003 invasion before it occurred, has often reminded voters that Hillary Clinton voted to authorize the war.

Asked whether he had any concerns or regrets about the fallout from his remark on Iraq, the former president said: “Well, I regret that they were falsely represented by the press, who wants to make it a political story.”

Yes, because comments made by former Presidents who are speaking in support of their wives who happen to be running for the Presidency can be in no way construed as political.

But in perhaps the most ridiculous turn I’ve ever seen, the blogosphere is all lit up with conspiracy theories about why the student who asked the planted question of Hillary in early November, showed up at an Obama event the other night.

The best one is all about Obama having the girl go to the Clinton rally and try to get close enough to be given a question, then to go back and report it to the media to make Clinton look bad, followed by promoting Obama as a better choice.

I swear I’m not making this up. Go to the link, read the story, and then laugh your head off as you read the comments that follow. It’s gold. Who needs Hollywood writers to provide us with laughs- we’ve got politicians, reporters, and each other providing more than enough fodder. Though on another note… writers, come back soon. We miss you.

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