It’s a situation like this that keeps the western world so far detached from the Muslim world that we can only do one of two things:

1) Laugh
2) Get really really pissed off.

Spitting hatred, thousands of hardline Islamists called for British teacher Gillian Gibbons to be shot yesterday.

They streamed out of mosques in the Sudanese capital, Khartoum, shouting: “Kill her, kill her, kill her by firing squad.”

One man brandished a giant sword, others carried axes, clubs, ceremonial swords and knives.

But perhaps it’s more important to consider the words of the woman who’s actually being subjected to this madness:

Her son John, 25, said: “One of the things my mum said was ‘I don’t want any resentment towards Muslim people’. She’s holding up quite well.”

Quite noble. But I’ve got a feeling that once this whole fiasco is over, she won’t be feeling quite so “fluffy” anymore.

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It was only a matter of time before the crazies came out of the wood works. With the most diverse Presidential election in full swing, I’m surprised we haven’t seen a man with a pipe bomb strapped to his chest sooner.

A man claiming to have a bomb walked into a Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign office Friday and initially took at least four hostages, police and witnesses said. Three were released.

Clinton was not in the state at the time.

The man entered the office around 1 p.m., ordered people onto the floor and then let a mother and her baby leave, said State Police Maj. Michael Hambrook. The two hostages he kept were volunteers, said Bill Shaheen, a top state campaign official.

About two hours later, a woman in a green sweater was led away from the building by a SWAT team member. Authorities, some carrying shields and guns, had the building surrounded, and laid wiring up to the building’s entrance before the woman was released.

In this bag of Presidential candidate jokers, we’ve got the first (serious) female candidate, the first black candidate (who was raised Muslim but converted to Christianity), a Mormon, an ex- Vietnam Prisoner of War, an eccentric ex-New York City mayor (has anyone verified mob ties yet), and the list goes on.

Is anyone really surprised someone went ape shit? Personally, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

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Seven men from Florida pledged themselves to al-Qaida in 2006 and plotted to destroy the Sears Tower in Chicago. They were arrested on charges of trying to overthrow the U.S. Gov’t.

Defense lawyers have argued the plot was scripted by U.S. government informants. The group’s suspected ringleader, Narseal Batiste, testified he was trying to con the informants out of money to support an inner-city religious sect.

The Liberty City Seven, named for the poor part of Miami where they gathered in a rundown warehouse, were arrested in 2006 on charges of plotting to overthrow the U.S. government, blow up the 110-story Sears Tower — the tallest U.S. skyscraper — along with several FBI offices and the Miami federal court complex where they are being tried.

The young men each face up to 70 years in prison if convicted on all four conspiracy counts in a case government officials have touted as an important battle in the war against terrorism.

Federal agents said when the men were arrested that the group’s plans were “aspirational rather than operational” and posed no real threat because they had neither al Qaeda contacts nor the means of carrying out attacks.

Batiste (one of the defendants) testified he never asked al Qaeda for money and made up stories of plotting to bring down the Sears Tower as he pretended to go along with the informants to con them out of $50,000.

He wanted the money, he said, to build a nonprofit religious organization and community outreach program in depressed Liberty City.

Oh, well, so they weren’t really terrorists. They were community activists. Good to know.

And speaking of members of al-Qaida, guess who’s still kicking out the video jams?

Al-Qaida chief Osama bin Laden called on Europeans to stop helping the United States in the war in Afghanistan, according to excerpts of a new audiotape broadcast Thursday on Al-Jazeera television.

Bin Laden said it was unjust for the United States to have invaded Afghanistan for sheltering him after the Sept. 11 terror attacks, saying he was the “only one responsible” for the deadly assaults on New York and Washington.

“The events of Manhattan were retaliation against the American-Israeli alliance’s aggression against our people in Palestine and Lebanon, and I am the only one responsible for it. The Afghan people and government knew nothing about it. America knows that,” the al-Qaida leader said in the five-minute tape.

So, being the only one responsible, next he’s going to come out of hiding, turn himself in, be put to trial (aka: death) and then we can leave the Middle East and peace will reign over the globe right? Right?

…

Screw you guys.

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At theCNN/Youtube Republican Debate last night, Retired Brig. Gen. Keith H. Kerr asked a very important question to the Republican Presidential candidates:

“Why do you think that American men and women in uniform are not professional enough to serve with gays and lesbians?”

The General is a man “with 43 years of service. A graduate of the Special Forces Officer Course, the Commanding General Staff Course, and the Army War College”. And he’s gay. gasp!

You can view the complete answers of the Republican candidates here. There’s no surprises here folks. No need for me to regurgitate the annoying answers that consistently come out of their mouths.

But after the hard blows of the General towards the “Rep candies”, there’s a back lash of his own looming. The Retired General is a co-chair of Hillary Clinton’s National Military Veterans group. Some in the GOP camp are crying fowl because they feel this gives him a biased association with the Queen bee herself.

Personally, I think the question asked is one that every candidate needs to address as banning openly gay people from serving is an unacceptable waste of resources.

Is the “outing” of the General as a supporter of the Hillary camp something that we should be concerned about? Is there a vast Clinton conspiracy lurking? Her husband did, if I must remind you, enact the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. How does that relate to this General and Hillary? Time will tell.

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That’s a list, as in, one singular list, as opposed to “A List” which is what some of these celebs might be considered, but some would not.

Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton has her share-

Hugh Hefner- porn loves the Clintons, and the Clintons love porn right back

Barbara Streisand- just seems to like the thought of a woman in the White House, and unlike the above mention supporter, she hates Bush. *zing* (it’s a double entendre people)

From close behind comes golden boy Barack Obama-

Oprah Winfrey- the daytime television vote, people will line up to read anything she endorses, will this be any different?

Jennifer Aniston and Halle Berry- bringing the hotness (daydreams of a “Happy Birthday Mr. President” moment…)

Tom Hanks- stumping is as stumping does

The less oft publicized but really still in there John Edwards-

James Denton- on Desperate Housewives, but not a desperate housewife.

That seems to be all the major support the Dems are getting right now, though Kucinich had Willie Nelson and Hootie and the Blowfish in 2004.

For the Republicans, first up Rudy Giuliani-

Robert Duvall- can always count on a new Godfather

Kelsey Grammer- when in doubt, let him speak, the guy can fall off a stage and still sound like a genious.

Mike Huckabee wants a true show of force in his supporters-

Ric Flair- a Pro-Wrestler known for his trademark “Whooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Ted Nugent- will hunt for votes (pun so fully intended)

Chuck Norris- Chuck Norris doesn’t back candidates, candidates back Chuck Norris

Mitt Romney will take anything he can get-

The Osmonds- you’re Mormon, we’re Mormon… umm… yeah.

So there you have it, who famous people think should be President.

Wow, celebrity news that actually relates to something important to our lives… go figure.

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